May 1st, 2005

The Secretary of Defense announced the newest weapon in the war on terror in an appearance with Spiderman and Captain America in the Pentagon basement yesterday. The New Vernacular  

Before I go on, I should like to have a word about Penelope Cruz: Boring. Of the dozen lines of dialogue that she’s given, you might think that her character was at some point meant to be plucky, independent, fiesty or something, but since everything is delivered with the same dead-eyed blandess, you’re left wondering if she’s in the WHO for the free access to morphine. Miscellaneous, etc.  

But you really should watch at least the first ten seconds in order to see the Evil European Octopus. Light From An Empty Fridge  

Do you think any of these people in the now-famous Star Wars line outside Grauman’s Chinese Theater are even aware that she’s supposedly famous? They probably just think she’s a Netflix PR rep who is dressed up as a Mos Eisley alien. Go Fug Yourself