BlogBites

April 30th, 2005

The door of the limo crashed open, and out leaped Joe Jackson and two smokin’-hot babes. By Neddie Jingo!  

Gee, after all those decades in which the U.S. was accused of engaging in Coca-Colonization, greeting the Venezuelan president with a Coke and a smile probably wasn’t the swiftest diplomatic move. James Wolcott  

April 29th, 2005

And spiders work, and bookmarks work, and basically you avoid ass-fucking the web. Ok? Thanks. jwz  

If you are a recovering addict, smartass, homophobe from Cali you are not allowed to make fun of rednecks. The Ramblings of a Redneck Diva  

Sorry, Vietnamese babies are not GRAC in the current media climate. Majikthise  

Don’t ever write me again, fuckbait, or I’ll get a restraining order so fast it will make your puny mortal head spin so hard you’ll be shooting that congealed mass of cow shit that you call your brain out of your ears. TBogg  

There is an opening for a leader, whether that’s a president, senator, or otherwise - to propose a giant project, akin to going to the moon — but much more important. Oliver Willis  

She told him that the best way to destroy homosexuals is to sign-up for her long distance plan. Jesus’ General  

There is no such thing as a right-wing pothead, at least I’ve never met one. Drunk Monkey  

Now, I’m not saying that I’d like to see this Emmy-award-winning comedian captured by Dayaks or Fore tribesmen, cooked alive, and eaten in a ritual meant to bring power and status to the elite members of the clan. I’m just saying that if such a thing were to happen and I read about it in the newspaper, I wouldn’t linger over the tragedy for very long before moving on to the sports pages, if you follow me. The Comics Curmudgeon  

If you think the regular smells of bodily emmissions are bad, try to imagine what it would be like if all your secretions smelled like household chemicals. Minus lemon-freshness, of course. LYT’s Weblog  

I love the sleestacks! Orangejack Blog  

…You try to be an effective manager, you weed out the bad apples like the late Admiral Ozzel — only to find that an insidious culture of incompetence has somehow transformed your deadly pan-galactic armada into a fleet of spaceballs. The Darth Side  

Yes, I can get dramatic when it comes to chocolate. Crooked Timber  

Hell, at this rate we could wipe out the insurgency just by letting it take the country! They won’t know what hit us. Fafblog!