BlogBites

September 30th, 2004

Really, what captures the American attitude toward continued violence in Iraq better than, “Fifteen killed in Baghdad blast, yadda yadda yadda. . . “ Wonkette  

The entire nation of Sweden was put together with a hex wrench and simple diagrams, so why must I suffer with these pitifully inadequate caveman drawings and a vignette on how to use lube? Airbag  

I’m all for gratuitous exploitation, but even I have my limits, and I’ve been known to masturbate to houseplants. Mostly ferns. Witt and Wisdom  

and, even though adolescence at its most judy blumesque is supposed to be about figuring out who you are and celebrating that, the reality is that adolescence is really all about trying like hell to be like everyone else. tequila mockingbird  

Of course I should probably take more vitamins and get more exercise, but I’m living in America now so I kind of feel like it’s my civil duty to stuff my face with donuts and create a sizeable ass-crease on my couch. Graphikjunkie  

If we had a real press in this country, we’d all know far less about typewriters of the seventies and more about extraordinary rendition. Body and Soul  

Please rest assured that Mr. Fenton is a Major Poet, even if the above example of his work does seem like something Eric Idle should be singing. Preposterous Universe  

September 29th, 2004

A fond farewell to all my friends in Philly- I am off to California to star in an adult film version of To Kill a Mockingbird. I believe it was fate that brought me to the casting call.
Good Grief!  

The House has passed a bill making the oak tree our national tree. They really must have nothing to do. Pandagon  

I was met with the kind of face a dog shows you after being shown a card trick. Staying Straight Edge …  

“It’s like catching bass in a pond,” he said. “After you catch most of the fish, it gets harder to catch the rest.” M O B J E C T I V I S T  

Superintelligent space monkeys are usually a strong Democratic voting block but many are lookin to Bush this year on accounta 9/11 changin everythin. Fafblog!  

Nothing against him, it was just that he’d stopped updating and I don’t have room in my blogroll for lazy-ass bloggers who don’t update, unless their name is Satan. RoguePlanet  

so yeah, if you were ever wondering. russians do go to the bathroom, and they have terrifying and incomprehensible toilets. miscellanea  

Which one of you sick, carbon monoxide breathing, sign hanging lefties sent me this? Jesus’ General